“And what happened next, Sheriff?” Mr. Green probed.“I, um, I removed my uniform, then put back on my hat and boots,” the sheriff confessed. “Ms. Fukadonki then proceeded to perform oral sex upon my manhood as I stood by the side of the road.”“And what did you do while Ms. Fukadonki was sucking on your pecker?” the defendant asked.“I, um, well, I sang ‘I feel pretty’ from West Side Story, just like you asked me to, as loud as I could,” the devastated sheriff conceded.Lorinda suppressed a giggle. The Sheriff looked resentfully at her and she looked down into her lap.“Is this normal police procedure when performing a traffic stop?” Mr. Green probed.“No, um, no it isn’t,” he admitted. “I’ve never done anything remotely like that before.”“And did you, in fact, blow your wad in response to Ms. Fukadonki’s ministrations?” the defendant continued.“I ... I did,” the sheriff confessed.“And how did you reward Ms. Fukadonki for her generous hummer?”“I ... I let her drive the sheriff’s car back. “Are you breaking up with me?” I asked as I did a little hop in my seat.This time I left out the ‘Duke quiver,’ as I called it. The judges gave my ‘excited boy’ routine a nine out of ten.“Did you kiss her?” Brook asked.“I gave her one on the cheek to say goodbye. She hadn’t crossed any lines, so it was a reward for a pleasant evening,” I explained.“Phil’s safe today,” Brook pronounced.The little shit stuck his tongue out at me. I gave him the look my mom gave me when she’d ‘about had enough.’ Even Greg flinched at that one. It had been ingrained into us to realize that when we got that look, we better stop whatever we were doing and become little angels.“I do have some questions about these.” Brook pointed at a series of pictures later in the night.“They’d had too much to drink and began to let their hands wander. That’s when I decided I needed to go home,” I explained.“David was good the whole night,” Chuck said from the front seat.Chuck just made up for the few times he wasn’t the.
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